I started listening to my iPod... the songs reeling, they go by and by, some with me singing along, some getting changed immediately, some I don't sing along with, but I listen...
As I listen, Carrie Underwood's "Just A Dream" comes on. and it makes me remember why I Swore off of military men. If I were to date one, and he got shipped off to war... and died... What would I do then? It made me remember, that as good as they are, I don't think I'd handle losing a lover that way.
Then more songs came on, more love songs, since that is what I'm really into, is my lil fairy tales. And I began to ache... long.. yearn for that love I'm missing... I wanna be able to say I'm in love... I wanna be able to say "yes that's my sweetheart..." I wanna say and hear "I love you.." I lost that August 1, 2009. Every girl's dream... to have a lover that loves her for her... her imperfections make her perfect for that special man in her life... The one who'll hold her when she cries, joke to make her laugh, knock some guy to the ground for being mean to her... And when she loses track of time and burns the cake for her man's birthday, he grabs her and tries to hide his laughter as the smoke detectors go off all over the house.
The man who will father their two kids... or more, if they're crazy like that. Who'll forgive small mistakes, like backing his truck into whatever, but forgets what it was because all he can remember is how her face was red and tears painted her eyes like watery blues and how she just covered her mouth... Or when she misreads the directions, and they get lost, but he holds her hand until they get it right... the one who'll make her soup when she's sick, read her a book, or tease her for taking so long in the bath or getting ready to go out.
The one who'll do anything for her... He'd learn that new dance to please her, buy her things when she least expects it, tickle her at random moments, maybe pinch her ass cheeks, playing of course. Or, coming home and he's exhausted, but he makes time and gives the rest of his energy to her, to make her happy. The one who'll offer to help with the kitchen or laundry or other chores around the house...
The one who'll make hard, slow, sweet love while making perfect eye contact, the one who'll take a bullet for her... you know the kind...
But as we all dream for that, we rarely get it. No longer do men like that exist. The ones that do are already taken, or don't find us good enough. Oh well.
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