where do i go from here. what to do with my life. ive got nothing left. i have no hope, no light. i dont know what to do or where to go, im stuck in a hell that wont go away. its hovering over me, and killing me slowly. i can feel it. i can feel the pain deepening. what the hell. why the fuck am i such a fucking idiot. why the fuck cant i be a normal person. why the hell am i cursed with so much fucking pride or dignity or whatever the fuck else it is called as to not want anyone to fucking care or worry. its a fucking curse that just ruins my fucking life. i am so done with it. i hate myself, and i hate this world. fuck christmas presents. fuck my so called bright future, its not there anymore. its just not. i have no reason to want to be around here anymore. im done. there is nothing left. my mind is gone. its not there. heart, yeah that's gone too. fuck the soul. mine is bad. so heres my goodbye. power to the people, peace out.
oh, and since i apparently NEVER showed it. thank you for confirming the fact that i am a good for nothing bitch. never knows when she has a good thing until she loses it. yep thats me. more power to ya. i did love you. all i did was fantasize about you. i alwayss told you i loved you, i stayed up just like you did. we stayed up together. the dreams of cuddlin and hugging and just plahying around are gone. so much for promises. made by you or me. then again, i never was good enough. i was terrible. no wonder im always single. i never get it. you not understanding no that was an understatement, you nderstood just fine. its me. it always was. scared of love because i couldnt shift my mind away from the painful parts of it. wheres that left me? i put myself through this hurt. thanks. i suddenly realize it. then again, i doubt you'll ever see this. so one last time ill announce my love, now cold and distant since you left. funny, it wasnt more than an hour or so ago... yet im already going through a living fucking hell. crying and falling into my nightmares again. ne last time for the i love you. you know who you are.
Goodbye.
